I am a firm believer that the most important thing in recovering from addiction is human connection. I wouldn't be alive today, let alone be on my way to earning two Bachelor's degrees, if it wasn't for those of you who refused to let me go. Certain individuals saw something in me that I never knew existed, and they never lost faith. At the lowest points of my addiction, those people were there to pick me up even though time and time again, I had shown them I knew no other way. Through their eyes, I saw that there was another way. I just couldn't find the words... for anything.
I had grown so custom to using any chance I got, that the act of using had become my only means of expression. I had to work really hard at opening up and finding the right things to say, and asking for help. Often at times when I did find the words, they just were not enough. If you know me now, you know that I never stop talking.
So I came back to school so that I could learn more about connectedness and self-expression, so I could help other addicts who were still suffering and their loved ones from having to go through what I did, and what I put my loved ones through. But every door that I have opened along the way, has shown me new paths in new directions that I never dreamed of, or that I thought I didn't deserve. What I certainly didn't expect, was a level of creativity being released I didn't know existed.
While earning my associates degree at Lakeland Community College, my English composition professor, Mitch James, gave us the option to present an alternative to a traditional research paper, as long as we got a "B" on the midterm. His example that he gave was, he had a student a few semesters back that turned in a claymation video for her final. Mind you, throughout my addiction, I can barely remember a moment that I played an instrument. I saw this as an opportunity to kind of kill three birds with one stone. If he would let me do a research album I could start playing music again, do some learning, and kill some time because this was all happening during Covid and we couldn't really leave the house for three months. I ended up creating Discovery of Meaning about expressive writing and substance abuse.
The whole process was an incredible learning experience. I had found what I had been looking for the entire time. A way for everyone, not just addicts, to express themselves while creating something beautiful and meaningful, while building the bonds of human connection, The expressive art therapies.
At this point, I just assumed I was going to study music therapy, but quickly realized that it would limit the scope of my practice. So in order to broaden that scope,I shifted direction and enrolled in the Undergraduate Art Therapy program at Ursuline College.
Enrolling in art therapy school rather than music therapy, naturally, I just assumed the research album concept was a one and done kind of deal. But enrolling at Ursuline was one of the best decisions I've ever made. I didn't think I was ever going to get the chance to do something like that again. My professors allowed me the opportunity to discover and experience more outlets of creative expression than I know what to do with. They have provided me with tools, tools of creation, that I never knew I needed.
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